Kids watch too much TV?

My daughter is...

Seven ways to break the TV habit
by Peg Rosen

Have your kids watch TV programs, not just TV. This means planning ahead with your child what he wants to watch and turning off the tube when the program is over. "The idea is that you're making a conscious decision to watch something instead of simply flipping around the channels to find something on. Television should be an engaging activity, not simply mind-numbing time to 'chill out,'" says Nell Minow, author of The Movie Mom's Guide to Family Movies and the mother of two teenagers.

Make television physically inconvenient. Too much of the time, television becomes a backdrop to family life — it blares away in the den or great room while kids are playing, mom's cooking, or the family is eating. "We purposely didn't put a TV on the first floor of our house so that watching television would require a deliberate decision on everyone's part to either head to the basement or to the master bedroom," says Susan Korones Gifford, a New Jersey mother of two kids. Keeping the TV in a closed armoire also helps tame habitual watching. Hiding the clicker isn't a bad idea either because it tends to discourage channel surfing. Educators agree that no child should have a television in his bedroom.

Be firm but open-minded. Shows with sexual content or graphic violence should obviously be off-limits for children. But what about the grayer areas — programs you think are simply inane or off-putting? "Let your child come to you and explain why he wants to watch it, then work out a reasonable compromise," says Minow. "It may simply be a matter of satisfying his curiosity about a show or exposing him to just enough so he can 'talk the talk' at school." If your child does end up liking the program and you find no inherent harm in its content, it's okay to give some slack. "Certainly, you don't want your child to be on a steady diet of mindless TV, but banning silly programs altogether may only give the shows a 'forbidden fruit' sort of appeal," says Aidman.

Avoid setting a firm TV time "allowance" for your child. This seems counter-intuitive, but it's surprisingly effective. "Some days my kids watch TV, some days they don't watch any. But I know if I told them they could watch an hour a day, they'd do anything they could to squeeze in that time," says Gifford. Most educators believe that anything more than two hours a day is too much for children age 2 and older. (The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children under 2 watch no television at all.) Like Gifford, you may want to let your child come to you when he wants to watch and keep to yourself what the absolute maximum is. This will avoid tacitly sending the message to him that there's a certain amount he "should" be watching.

Prohibit TV and videos during playdates. Kids need time to play and interact with their peers — television only acts as an impediment. "Make a firm rule in your house, and let other parents know that you expect them to respect your 'no TV on playdates' rule when your child is visiting their home, too," says Minow.

Watch with your kids whenever possible. Knowing what your child is watching is key, so you don't end up being surprised by a show that may seem kid-friendly but isn't. Watching with your kids also provides the opportunity to talk about what's on. "It gives you common ground and a jumping off point for conversation. And since it can become more of a challenge for some parents to talk with their children as they get older, this can be quite important," says Aidman.

Make yourself a role model. Certainly, peer pressure has an influence on our kids' TV watching habits. But ultimately, as with everything else — violence, eating habits, racial attitudes — children are most affected by the example we parents set. "If they see you mindlessly flipping channels, if you 'Shh' them while you watch your favorite sitcom," that's the attitude they'll eventually adopt, says Minow. On the other hand, if your kids see you eagerly sitting down every so often to watch something and concentrating on what you're seeing, they'll recognize the potential for enjoyment TV actually promises.